this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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