Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
