so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
