i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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