it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
