Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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