A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
is it fun? or sober?
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