My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
