College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize