no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Shame - the story of my life.
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