so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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