12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
