i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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