either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
