is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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