that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
