Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
