she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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