For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
