I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize