I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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