What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
