You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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