Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
