alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize