drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
