I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
