Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
