Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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