Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
