Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
