he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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