end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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