I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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