READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
