I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
