Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
