And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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