I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
