so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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