I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
