People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize