i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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