I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
