I don't think brook has ever known best
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
