i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
