she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
