He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
