I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
