I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
