And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
