I hope mine doesn't look like that
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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