Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
