Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I love you. Go after that dick
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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