fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
