im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
