my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
