i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
