Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
