He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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