I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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