from now on my penis is your penis
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize