On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
should my penis look like a turkey
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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