Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
