I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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