AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
