I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
