I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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