R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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