pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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