Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm bleeding and have questions
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
