He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize