kristin has been a bad kristin
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
