I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
