Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize