Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
