well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
